Your laff 4 2 day

jmurray01

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Well, seeing as Mr Bill isn't on the forums any longer, I'll do a joke for today.

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his
flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he
picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange,
disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you."
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his
flashlight out, and froze. When he heard nothing more
after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a
vacation after the next big score, then clicked the
light on and began searching for more valuables.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could
disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you."
Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically,
looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the
corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
"Did you say that?" He hissed at the parrot.
"Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you."
The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"
"Moses," replied the bird.
"Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people
would name a bird Moses."
"The kind of people that would name a rottweiler Jesus." he replied.

OK, hands up, I didn't create it, but it cracked me up when I read it! :laughing:
 
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I have heard this one before but its still a good one...:laughing:....:smile:...
 

Oddball

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May 2, 2011
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:laughing: I'd never heard that before.

I got one: What's the definition of a dyslexic atheistic insomniac?












Someone that stays awake all night trying figure out how to prove there is no .... DOG!! hahahahaha
 

Mowerdawg

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Nov 22, 2011
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How does a male mower maniac find a female mower maniac in the tall grass at sunset??










(delightful!):laughing::licking:
 

JDgreen

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I don't get it! :mad: :confused2::rolleyes: :eek:

Not surprising, you have always been the stupidest, most worthless turd here since you joined LMF.

Members like you are one of the reasons I left LMF. Bet the truth hurts, Mower Moron...:laughing::laughing::laughing::laughing::laughing::laughing:
 

Mowerdawg

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Nov 22, 2011
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I don't get it! :mad: :confused2::rolleyes: :eek:

sorry, didn't realize there was a handle being used for M.M.

The joke actually goes like this.

How does a male elephant find a female elephant in the tall grass at sunset?

delightful.

Get it? He finds her delightful..........sorry........this went over like a concrete cloud......(snivel)
 
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