Hello all. Having some issues involving the in-laws “family” cabin.
In addition to the amount of work a cabin requires, this one needs more. It’s off grid, boat access only. Supplies need to be dragged down a hill and boated across.
Any kind of work and maintenance is easily doubled due to this.
I have done lots of work and repair because the father in law is70 and has a hard time keeping up. Besides I can’t sit on my *** and watch a 70 year old man work. It just ain’t right.
One of my issues is that my interpretation of a familly cabin is everyone gets their week or so, and then it’s someone else’s turn. Of course there’s usually an open week, and of course “work” weekends, as required.
This cabin is like a drop in where the grandkids come and go at will (empty handed), and it seems they are always busy for the “work” weekends.
Then There’s my brother in law “Jeff”. Jeff......
...Is 40 years old and lives in his parents basement
...is at the cabin without fail every weekend from May until October
...never brings any food or supplies (he is broke and has no money), BUT,
...he always has beer, pot, cigars, cigarettes, and he bought a drone, and
...has a new pickup truck with tinted windows, lift kit (point mad I think)
...never helps prepare meals, wash dishes
...never doesn’t any work at the cabin, or even help carry supplies from the boat
...complains if the meal is not to his liking
...over eats without consideration that others need to eat too
Basically he is a POS.
It feels like I go out to provide mom and dad with respite. I hate it. It’s not my place to say something but I don’t want to go anymore. I offered to buy a cottage or rent one as my wife really enjoys it. But the family cabin is special to her. She didn’t have much in life so this place means a lot, and her brothers behavior is normal.
In addition to doing all the work while “Jeff” sat and drank beer, the tipping point was when we all went into town to restock supplies last year. Of course “Jeff” restocked his beer, and pot with the money he didn’t have, but when I wanted to stop at a store to purchase a cabin maintenance related item, “Jeff” said “I’m on my holidays and we’re not wasting anymore of my time driving around”.
This guy is an arrogant, lazy, freeloading jerk. The parents enable him.
I want to help mom and dad out as I enjoy building and fixing things. But I’m having a real problem with this guy. I was able to ignore him and simply take the high road and be the better person.
I can do lazy but I don’t do disrespectful.
Wifey doesn’t want to buy or rent because she thinks her parents will be insulted.
As of last year I still went out, but I have stopped doing any work on the cabin except for dishes, and meal prep. It’s not my cabin and not my responsibility. I find it difficult to watch dad work.
Any ideas how to tackle this? And yes I’ve thought about using him as a boat anchor, lol. Jk
In addition to the amount of work a cabin requires, this one needs more. It’s off grid, boat access only. Supplies need to be dragged down a hill and boated across.
Any kind of work and maintenance is easily doubled due to this.
I have done lots of work and repair because the father in law is70 and has a hard time keeping up. Besides I can’t sit on my *** and watch a 70 year old man work. It just ain’t right.
One of my issues is that my interpretation of a familly cabin is everyone gets their week or so, and then it’s someone else’s turn. Of course there’s usually an open week, and of course “work” weekends, as required.
This cabin is like a drop in where the grandkids come and go at will (empty handed), and it seems they are always busy for the “work” weekends.
Then There’s my brother in law “Jeff”. Jeff......
...Is 40 years old and lives in his parents basement
...is at the cabin without fail every weekend from May until October
...never brings any food or supplies (he is broke and has no money), BUT,
...he always has beer, pot, cigars, cigarettes, and he bought a drone, and
...has a new pickup truck with tinted windows, lift kit (point mad I think)
...never helps prepare meals, wash dishes
...never doesn’t any work at the cabin, or even help carry supplies from the boat
...complains if the meal is not to his liking
...over eats without consideration that others need to eat too
Basically he is a POS.
It feels like I go out to provide mom and dad with respite. I hate it. It’s not my place to say something but I don’t want to go anymore. I offered to buy a cottage or rent one as my wife really enjoys it. But the family cabin is special to her. She didn’t have much in life so this place means a lot, and her brothers behavior is normal.
In addition to doing all the work while “Jeff” sat and drank beer, the tipping point was when we all went into town to restock supplies last year. Of course “Jeff” restocked his beer, and pot with the money he didn’t have, but when I wanted to stop at a store to purchase a cabin maintenance related item, “Jeff” said “I’m on my holidays and we’re not wasting anymore of my time driving around”.
This guy is an arrogant, lazy, freeloading jerk. The parents enable him.
I want to help mom and dad out as I enjoy building and fixing things. But I’m having a real problem with this guy. I was able to ignore him and simply take the high road and be the better person.
I can do lazy but I don’t do disrespectful.
Wifey doesn’t want to buy or rent because she thinks her parents will be insulted.
As of last year I still went out, but I have stopped doing any work on the cabin except for dishes, and meal prep. It’s not my cabin and not my responsibility. I find it difficult to watch dad work.
Any ideas how to tackle this? And yes I’ve thought about using him as a boat anchor, lol. Jk