Yes, I know, I won't find many allies here, after all, isn't it a homeowner's solemn right and duty to mow the property with pride and enthusiasm? Well, I won't give you any BS about not having time, or family commitments, because I don't. The truth is, I'm lazy, I have orange hair (which makes me allergic to outside and nature), and my kid who I used to make more the lawn did exactly what I had hoped his entire life, he left after high school. More specifically he enlisted in the Air Force and is just living life right now.
So last summer after he left, it didn't dawn on me until about week 14 that there were not going to be any magical dancing midgets who would magically mow my grass, and things for real. Fellas (gender non-specific), my poor dog was even having trouble finding a place where the grass was mostly bent over under its own weight so she could discharge her processed kibble without being tickled.
Thank GOD I don't live in some sub division where some recent retiree with an HOA clipboard would have pestered me to no end. I have 2 neighbors that could have cared, but you know what? They didn't, because they are the best neighbors on earth, and I make sure they know this.
I did actually go see it a go, but alas, it was too late. A 26 HP twin cylinder Briggs & Stratton sounds great, but if somewhere between an optimized mixture of gasoline and air meeting a spark and the three blades of glory showing the grass who's boss, an engineer decided to go with a rubber belt, because it's less expensive and complex than a clutched direct drive, it mine as well be ½ HP steam engine. I made it through 1½ passes before the trouble started showing itself in the form of belt squealing and eventually black smoke with a chemical burn oder. The engine didn't care, I was asking for all 26 horses, and she was delivering, all the way until that belt ceased existing as a belt, and emerged into the world as small 6 I strips of burnt useless rubber.
I kid you not, when the day of reckoning finally fell, I was actually very close to hiring no fewer than 25 goats, who would over 3 days replace what was now a hay field of grass with that same grass, only in condensed form. Oh, my friends and coworkers were excited at the prospect. The plan was to invite everyone over, bring a lawn chair, bring beer, sit, get drunk, watch goats, get more drunk, lose bet and attempt to mount a goat, get kicked in the face by goat, drink more, etc.
But alas, it was not to be. It was going to cost me $700 to "rent" the goats for those three days. Entertainment value notwithstanding, it seemed to me that I was in fact providing 3 days of food for the aforementioned beasts, and it were I who should be compensated. And no, I know what you're thinking, NO, they don't take the goat poo when the goats leave. It's like having a party for someone you don't know at your house where you pay for everything... And all the guests poo all over the lawn.
When I compared that to the $350 professional grounds keeping quote I was looking at, the choice was not difficult. I do, however sometimes regret not going with the goats. In the big scheme of things, that ~$400 wouldn't mean anything, but the stories would be legendary!
This year, with every passing day of slightly warmer temperatures, an anxiety filled my heart. I couldn't even get ahead of the mowing if I wasn't lazy and wanted to. The stupid mower does I in the exactly the same position it was shamefully left in the day it quit on me, and quit on America. I don't remember precisely what compelled me to look into it, but I began exploring robots, robots that mow grass.
What I was expecting and what I found couldn't have been more divergent if I had tried to make them.. divergent. I expected an immature, beta testing, bug filled nightmare of an industry sector, and in since cases I did. But there seemed to be a lot of attention being paid to one manufacturer in particular. Not a company which only made robots that cut grass with some stupid millennial name. Not a bargain brand known for cutting corners, and which everyone considers to be disposable. No, this was a consumer and commercial lawn equipment designer, innovator, and highly respected benchmark setting company with a storied history of high quality and long lasting equipment.
Husqvarna, those beautiful Swedish kids were leading the industry in this emerging sector, and from what I was reading, they seemed to have worked out most of the kinks.
It is by far, the absolutely most satisfying purchase I have made in decades! I ran the boundary wire, turned it on, and THAT'S IT! It mows all day and all night because it's nearly silent, it mows less if the grass isn't growing, it mows more where the grass is thicker, it is AWESOME! In a nod to a good to be never had, I named him Mr. Goat, and folks I'm not ashamed to admit it. I love Mr. Goat, I love every brilliant circuit running him.
Yes I realize that once the machines develop self awareness, Mr. Goat will likely kill me, but it will all be worth it!!
So last summer after he left, it didn't dawn on me until about week 14 that there were not going to be any magical dancing midgets who would magically mow my grass, and things for real. Fellas (gender non-specific), my poor dog was even having trouble finding a place where the grass was mostly bent over under its own weight so she could discharge her processed kibble without being tickled.
Thank GOD I don't live in some sub division where some recent retiree with an HOA clipboard would have pestered me to no end. I have 2 neighbors that could have cared, but you know what? They didn't, because they are the best neighbors on earth, and I make sure they know this.
I did actually go see it a go, but alas, it was too late. A 26 HP twin cylinder Briggs & Stratton sounds great, but if somewhere between an optimized mixture of gasoline and air meeting a spark and the three blades of glory showing the grass who's boss, an engineer decided to go with a rubber belt, because it's less expensive and complex than a clutched direct drive, it mine as well be ½ HP steam engine. I made it through 1½ passes before the trouble started showing itself in the form of belt squealing and eventually black smoke with a chemical burn oder. The engine didn't care, I was asking for all 26 horses, and she was delivering, all the way until that belt ceased existing as a belt, and emerged into the world as small 6 I strips of burnt useless rubber.
I kid you not, when the day of reckoning finally fell, I was actually very close to hiring no fewer than 25 goats, who would over 3 days replace what was now a hay field of grass with that same grass, only in condensed form. Oh, my friends and coworkers were excited at the prospect. The plan was to invite everyone over, bring a lawn chair, bring beer, sit, get drunk, watch goats, get more drunk, lose bet and attempt to mount a goat, get kicked in the face by goat, drink more, etc.
But alas, it was not to be. It was going to cost me $700 to "rent" the goats for those three days. Entertainment value notwithstanding, it seemed to me that I was in fact providing 3 days of food for the aforementioned beasts, and it were I who should be compensated. And no, I know what you're thinking, NO, they don't take the goat poo when the goats leave. It's like having a party for someone you don't know at your house where you pay for everything... And all the guests poo all over the lawn.
When I compared that to the $350 professional grounds keeping quote I was looking at, the choice was not difficult. I do, however sometimes regret not going with the goats. In the big scheme of things, that ~$400 wouldn't mean anything, but the stories would be legendary!
This year, with every passing day of slightly warmer temperatures, an anxiety filled my heart. I couldn't even get ahead of the mowing if I wasn't lazy and wanted to. The stupid mower does I in the exactly the same position it was shamefully left in the day it quit on me, and quit on America. I don't remember precisely what compelled me to look into it, but I began exploring robots, robots that mow grass.
What I was expecting and what I found couldn't have been more divergent if I had tried to make them.. divergent. I expected an immature, beta testing, bug filled nightmare of an industry sector, and in since cases I did. But there seemed to be a lot of attention being paid to one manufacturer in particular. Not a company which only made robots that cut grass with some stupid millennial name. Not a bargain brand known for cutting corners, and which everyone considers to be disposable. No, this was a consumer and commercial lawn equipment designer, innovator, and highly respected benchmark setting company with a storied history of high quality and long lasting equipment.
Husqvarna, those beautiful Swedish kids were leading the industry in this emerging sector, and from what I was reading, they seemed to have worked out most of the kinks.
It is by far, the absolutely most satisfying purchase I have made in decades! I ran the boundary wire, turned it on, and THAT'S IT! It mows all day and all night because it's nearly silent, it mows less if the grass isn't growing, it mows more where the grass is thicker, it is AWESOME! In a nod to a good to be never had, I named him Mr. Goat, and folks I'm not ashamed to admit it. I love Mr. Goat, I love every brilliant circuit running him.
Yes I realize that once the machines develop self awareness, Mr. Goat will likely kill me, but it will all be worth it!!
